Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
