D3 body, D1 cock
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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