let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
