Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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