It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
