you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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