What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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