Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
