honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
