never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
