Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
