Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
