The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
