He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
