I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I wish my penis had an off switch
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
