we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
