Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
