What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
