why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
