WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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