Me too!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Randomize
