And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
