You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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