I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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