If that was your dad, he is hot
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
