someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
