Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
