i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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