The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
