I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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