She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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