good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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