Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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