my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
