Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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