Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
