I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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