margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
