3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
