the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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