We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
