There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
