Nicole vs. Life
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
