Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
