Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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