I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
