What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
