3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
