you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Go christen that room with your naked body.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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