; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
